Confused and constipated? This is the best guide to home remedies that could save your butt.

Confused and constipated? This is the best guide to home remedies that could save your butt.

Confused and constipated?

Introduction: Constipation Ka Real Struggle

Oh, the pain. That uncomfortable, soul-crushing time when your colon decides to become
Fort Knox, and every trip to the toilet feels like you’re trying to find hidden treasure with a
plastic spoon. Welcome to constipation, the basic nightmare that no one wants to talk about
but that everyone has been through. You flick through TikTok, drink coffee like a pro, and beg
your fridge for a miracle.

• But before you go to war with that “laxative” stockpile, let’s look at
  some home treatments for constipation that have worked for some people but are also quite
  doubtful. If you want to be a good adult in the 21st century, you should try to deal with your
  own poop predicament. It’s more enjoyable to joke about it than to cry quietly on the toilet.
• Get ready for a carnival of bold advise, annoying facts, and the kind of tips you’ll be giving
  when you’re feeling good about getting through another obstacle.

Drink water as if it’s the only thing that will keep you alive (because it is).

Truthfully: Your colon is like a plant that won’t move unless you give it water.
Water is the unsung hero of natural ways to treat constipation. If you’ve been running on
caffeine and old tears, your stomach is about as helpful as a cat in a bath.
Even if you detest the word “hydrate” more than Monday morning Zoom calls, try to drink
eight glasses of water every day.

Hot water can help also, because it seems like your intestines work better if you make them
think it’s a warm spa day.
If you have to pee every five minutes, you’re officially more hydrated than a cactus in the
desert.

Fibre: Because Your Digestive System Is Like a Trash Can

• Fibre is like the real cleanup team that pushes all the rubbish through, while water is like the
  fizzy soda. Just while it feels like a vibe, today is not the day to start the “pizza-only diet.”
• Eat more than simply the Instagram-famous avocado toast. Fruits, vegetables, and whole
  grains are better for you (but omegas are a plus).
• If fruits are hard to get, psyllium husk is the fibre that protects them.
• Important note: Don’t abruptly add a lot of fibre to your diet unless you want your stomach to
  make a lot of embarrassing noises like a cymbaling symphony.
• The race is won by going
• slowly and steadily.

Get moving! Because Your Gut Hates Being Lazy (Even More Than You Do)

That Netflix binge is fun until your stomach starts to hurt. Like an angry barista bringing you
your to-go flat white, exercise can help your sluggish digestive system wake up.
Walking for even 20 minutes might get your tummy moving. Confused and constipated?
There are true yoga poses, like “wind-relieving pose,” that might help things go along.

Rhetorical question: Is it possible for you to stroll to the kitchen and back without getting a
snack? For the sake of your gut, use that same motivation. Confused and constipated?

Prune Juice and Other “Adult Drinks” That Aren’t Alcohol (Sorry, Happy Hour)

• You make lemonade when life gives you lemons. When you’re constipated, prune juice is
  your new best friend. It’s the original home cure for clearing blocked pipes, and you don’t
  even need a fancy kitchen setup.
• It has a lot of fibre and sorbitol in it, which makes your colon shake like a caffeinated
  cheerleader.
• Confused and constipated?
• It tastes like a mix of sweet syrup and aged tree bark. But you know what they say:
  desperate times call for desperate measures.
• As a side note, if prune juice were on Tinder, it would state, “Good at helping you go,
  sometimes makes you feel like you need to go.”

Probiotics: Your Gut Needs a Party, Not a Quiet Disco

Your gut is like a real-life zoo of bacteria, and adding some healthy bacteria can help your
body work better, like a well-oiled machine. You might not have known you needed help, but
yoghurt, kombucha, or supplements that say “for gut health” could be just what you need.
Don’t expect miracles to happen overnight; this is the steady glow-up of colons.
That being said, eating these things on a regular basis can make “home remedies for
constipation” less of a search and more of a way of life. Confused and constipated?

When to Really Go to the Doctor (Not Just When You Run Out of Prune Juice)

• If you’ve tried all the home treatments and your stomach is still acting like it’s on vacation, it’s
  time to call in a professional. Some symptoms that something is wrong are:
• Pain so bad that it crashes your vibe like Wi-Fi at 99%.
  Blood in your poop (no, you’re not merely “bruised”)
• Losing weight or having symptoms that last a long time and make constipation feel like an
  existential crisis
• Confused and constipated?
• You can keep scrolling through memes in the waiting area, but don’t wait too long. Your gut
  deserves to be right.

Final Thoughts: You’re Definitely Reading This on the Toilet

• You did it! You made it through a long article about home remedies for constipation without
  getting sick or losing your cool. This rant about coffee worked if you now feel a little less
  alone in your gastrointestinal problems. Confused and constipated?
• We will keep saying this: your butt’s health is just as
  vital as your morning Starbucks run. Whether you swear by fibre, prune juice, or water
  (plenty of water), remember that. You should to take care of your digestive system like you
  would a houseplant. Not because you love it, but because not doing so can lead to some
  really bad smells. Confused and constipated?

If none of these helps, you can always call the doctor.

• I know it sounds like giving up or becoming an adult is tougher than you want it to be. But there are times when even the
  finest do-it-yourselfers need help from a pro before your bathroom looks like a scene from a
  horror movie. Plus, if you keep looking for “home remedies for constipation” at 2 a.m., you’re
  effectively living rent-free in worry city, which has bad Yelp reviews.

Drink your water, eat your fibre, and maybe go for a short walk around the block. Your colon
is monitoring, judging, and maybe, just maybe, willing to help out in the end. You can do this.
Or at least you’re trying, which is something in this life full of crap. Confused and constipated?